If I Were President

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Do you ever wonder what you would do if you were president? I do from time to time. It’s a lousy job. But still…

If I were president I’d do a lot of things differently.

For one thing, I’d personally give the White House tour at least once a week.  I’d take the group into the Oval Office, let everyone sit down in the big chair, take some pictures and then chat.  “So, what’s going on where you’re from?” I’d ask. Then I’d spend most of my time listening.

If I were president I’d start a drawing where the average American can win a chance to take a trip on Air-Force One.  I doubt that plane flies at capacity very often, and the American people ARE paying for it.  Why shouldn’t some of them get to travel in class with the President on his trip to Paris or wherever?  It would take some of the sting out of paying taxes.

Teleprompters would be thrown out of the White House if I were president. If people want to know what I have to say I should be able to do it off the top of my head.  If what I’m talking about is so complicated I have to read it word for word, I probably shouldn’t be saying it.  A president should be able to use note cards to be sure to cover all the points, but that’s it; and they should write their own speeches.  I mean really, you can make decisions about the fate of the free world, but you can’t form your own words?  No more speechwriters.

At least once a month in the summer, I would personally mow the White House lawn. I know a president is busy, but mowing your own lawn is a distinctly American thing to do. If the people are letting me stay in this nice house for free, the least I can do is mow the yard.

That’s what I would do, if I were President.

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